My Story of Healing through Connecting
In the web of existence, Healing through Connecting is not a mere theory but a profound truth, an undeniable reality seen and felt by many souls. My personal narrative unfolded in the absence of genuine connections for numerous years, with the exception of the profound bond shared with my maternal grandfather. Even in his physical absence, the connection persisted, a testament to the enduring power of genuine human bonds.
The journey to true connection, however, remained elusive until my late thirties. Despite the yearning to connect authentically with others and myself, I hesitated, cloaked in a shroud of wariness. It was the arrival of Family and Systemic Constellations that became the guiding star, illuminating the path toward genuine connection.
True connection, as I discovered, is a rich web woven with threads of authenticity, genuineness, vulnerability, non-judgment, compassion, and love. The list is endless, each element contributing to the intricate design of profound human connection. Yet, a haunting fear lingered— the visceral dread that once connected, they would inevitably leave. Fearing the magnitude of potential loss, I chose the safety of disconnection, unaware that in doing so, I was denying myself the richness of life's experiences. The years of disconnection, though not without lessons, became chapters etched with the wisdom of hindsight.
Disconnection, I realized, had broader implications. It sowed the seeds of separation, evident in the divisive lines drawn in today's world. People, indoctrinated to fear the "other," perpetuated separation based on differences in skin color, culture, religious beliefs, or merely being different from the perceived norm.
The concept of being different emerged as a central theme. Our choices to live authentically, embracing our Truth, often branded us as "different." Embracing my authenticity, true to my core, demanded an extraordinary level of vulnerability - a courageous choice that led me to embark on the journey of writing a book. The fear persisted - the fear of being seen, of facing criticism for my uniqueness, my "me-ness."
The familiar refrain, "Hurt people, hurt people," echoed through the narrative. The question lingered, why do we fail to see the hurt in others and connect? Is it a lack of empathy, compassion, fear, or self-centeredness?
As my story unfolded, a pivotal moment approached - a constellation workshop dedicated to the essence of connecting. Participants would weave connections with each other, ancestors, themselves, and something greater - the collective and the highest good for all. Family members, absent in physical form, would be reconnected in a safe and sacred space. The workshop promised an exploration of energies, both sacred and indifferent, leading to healing, letting go, and growth in love.
This sacred work entrusted me the precious gifts of compassion and insight. It became a transformative vessel, lifting veils of confusion, protection, judgment, and resentment. Through this process, the grand web of one's life unfolded, fostering compassion for the challenges and issues faced by others. The journey into deeper levels of healing became a testament to the profound power of connection.
In the private sanctuary of my practice, I have had the privilege of facilitating this sacred work with clients. The healing experienced, the depth of awareness, and the profound realizations that unfolded were nothing short of powerful. And so, in the grand web of life, this became my life's work - a poignant narrative of connection, healing, and the relentless pursuit of a more compassionate and understanding world.
The journey to true connection, however, remained elusive until my late thirties. Despite the yearning to connect authentically with others and myself, I hesitated, cloaked in a shroud of wariness. It was the arrival of Family and Systemic Constellations that became the guiding star, illuminating the path toward genuine connection.
True connection, as I discovered, is a rich web woven with threads of authenticity, genuineness, vulnerability, non-judgment, compassion, and love. The list is endless, each element contributing to the intricate design of profound human connection. Yet, a haunting fear lingered— the visceral dread that once connected, they would inevitably leave. Fearing the magnitude of potential loss, I chose the safety of disconnection, unaware that in doing so, I was denying myself the richness of life's experiences. The years of disconnection, though not without lessons, became chapters etched with the wisdom of hindsight.
Disconnection, I realized, had broader implications. It sowed the seeds of separation, evident in the divisive lines drawn in today's world. People, indoctrinated to fear the "other," perpetuated separation based on differences in skin color, culture, religious beliefs, or merely being different from the perceived norm.
The concept of being different emerged as a central theme. Our choices to live authentically, embracing our Truth, often branded us as "different." Embracing my authenticity, true to my core, demanded an extraordinary level of vulnerability - a courageous choice that led me to embark on the journey of writing a book. The fear persisted - the fear of being seen, of facing criticism for my uniqueness, my "me-ness."
The familiar refrain, "Hurt people, hurt people," echoed through the narrative. The question lingered, why do we fail to see the hurt in others and connect? Is it a lack of empathy, compassion, fear, or self-centeredness?
As my story unfolded, a pivotal moment approached - a constellation workshop dedicated to the essence of connecting. Participants would weave connections with each other, ancestors, themselves, and something greater - the collective and the highest good for all. Family members, absent in physical form, would be reconnected in a safe and sacred space. The workshop promised an exploration of energies, both sacred and indifferent, leading to healing, letting go, and growth in love.
This sacred work entrusted me the precious gifts of compassion and insight. It became a transformative vessel, lifting veils of confusion, protection, judgment, and resentment. Through this process, the grand web of one's life unfolded, fostering compassion for the challenges and issues faced by others. The journey into deeper levels of healing became a testament to the profound power of connection.
In the private sanctuary of my practice, I have had the privilege of facilitating this sacred work with clients. The healing experienced, the depth of awareness, and the profound realizations that unfolded were nothing short of powerful. And so, in the grand web of life, this became my life's work - a poignant narrative of connection, healing, and the relentless pursuit of a more compassionate and understanding world.
How Connecting Helped Me
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At the tender age of 18 months, my baby brother Jeff, just five weeks old, succumbed to sudden infant death syndrome. The weight of loss settled upon me in the earliest chapters of my life, yet its profound impact eluded my understanding until 2008, when the call to reflect on the formation of my identity compelled me to explore the depths of my soul.
Jeff, a fleeting presence in my infancy, cast an indelible imprint on my family and my essence. A silent understanding told me that a significant connection had been severed, leaving a void someone vital, intimately tied to my heart, was absent. With Jeff's departure, my parents' hearts closed in on themselves, overwhelmed by the vast and profound pain. The sources of love I knew seemed to vanish, fostering within me a fear that to love and be loved meant eventual abandonment. Thus, I erected barriers to shield myself from the looming specter of heartache. In the realms of therapy, only Family Constellations (FC) and psychedelic immersions dared to breach the fortress of my protection. They served as keys, unlocking the misperceptions woven over the years to shield me from what I mistakenly believed was a fear of loss but, at its core, was a fear of love's potency. Jeff became a seldom-discussed presence after his passing, captured in a solitary photograph. The palpable pain and grief in our family lingered, casting a shadow that I carried through childhood and beyond. Whenever Jeff's name echoed through the years, I could feel the ache in my parents' hearts, cautioning me to tread lightly. For years, I kept my questions confined within, fearing that mentioning him would reawaken their pain. Jeff became an unspoken omission in our family dialogues. Early in my journey of healing, I was blind to the influence of his exclusion on my anxieties and fears. The emotions tied to his loss terrified me, and the prospect of acknowledging him seemed to reopen the wounds of losing him. |
Through the illuminating lens of Family Constellations, I glimpsed how this early, monumental loss stoked my apprehension toward love, rendering me hesitant to forge deep connections. With heightened awareness and the guidance of FC, I peeled back the layers, exposing the scared little girl, the unsure, quiet teenager who obediently followed instructions, and the concealed adult within me.
This narrative is but a single strand in the tapestry of my journey - connecting and reconnecting through Family & Systemic Constellations and psychedelic immersion has been a beacon of support in my healing. It fuels my impassioned mission to share this transformative work with the world, driven by the purpose of helping others rediscover themselves, forge connections with others, and cultivate community in a seemingly divided world.
This narrative is but a single strand in the tapestry of my journey - connecting and reconnecting through Family & Systemic Constellations and psychedelic immersion has been a beacon of support in my healing. It fuels my impassioned mission to share this transformative work with the world, driven by the purpose of helping others rediscover themselves, forge connections with others, and cultivate community in a seemingly divided world.
Connecting Lead to My Reinvention
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In the web of my life, I once thrived as a collegiate scholarship athlete, achieving the accolade of NCAA three-time All-American in softball. For two decades, the rhythm of my existence was set to the cadence of playing and coaching softball. It was more than a passion; it was everything. Yet, when the symphony was disrupted by injuries and the dissonance of high school politics, I found myself at an unexpected crossroads. The abrupt pause ushered in an identity crisis - without the roles of athlete or coach, who was I?
In the hiatus that followed, I grappled with this profound question. When I eventually decided to reenter the coaching arena, the landscape had shifted. My focus had evolved beyond the game itself; I became deeply interested in the personal challenges faced by the young women I coached. These challenges, I noticed, seeped into their performances on the field. A revelation struck me - there was a yearning for more than just tactical coaching. The young women craved connection, support, and a compassionate ear. Thus began a transformative journey. Our weekly gatherings, which they affectionately termed "group therapy," transcended the confines of sports strategy. We sat in a circle, delving into their personal challenges. How could they play their best when wrestling with internal and interpersonal struggles? It became clear to me that addressing their emotional wounds was paramount. The teams flourished as the bonds grew stronger, and performances soared. Motivated by a profound sense of responsibility, I undertook a new chapter of learning. Returning to school at the age of 39, I immersed myself in the study of psychology, earning my master's degree. This shift marked the transition from athletic coaching to establishing a private practice, dedicated to supporting individuals and groups on their journeys of healing, growth, and transformation. The call to deepen my understanding beckoned once more, guiding me back to academia. At 45, I earned my doctorate in Humanistic and Clinical Psychology. Simultaneously, I became certified as a Family and Systemic Constellation Facilitator and a Psychedelic Integration Specialist. This multidimensional approach not only saved my quality of life but also became the focal point of my dissertation research: "Clients' Experiences with Family Constellations in Psychological Healing." As I navigated my personal transformation and supported my children in their journey to adulthood, my energies shifted towards creating safe, sacred, and compassionate spaces for others to connect and initiate their healing processes. This metamorphosis strengthened my spirituality and relationships, and it is both an honor and a privilege to extend these opportunities to others. I eagerly anticipate the prospect of connecting with you, offering a space where healing begins and connections flourish. |